| cynthetickravings...
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
It was an amazing trip to Kuala Lumpur... I ate till I thought I was going to burst into a zillion pieces of exploding lard pieces and shopped till i thought my legs were going to shatter... and I danced for hours on 2 beers?... I can't think of any party that could have made me groove for hours without any MDMA.
____________
So I whimped out and got on a plane there... the truth was not that I was afraid of going there by bus... but work ended late and I would have missed the last bus anyways.
So I arrived there on a saturday night and was shocked at the traffic jam... I could see my hotel and it would have taken me two minutes to get there on foot... but a half hour by taxi...
So I put my enormous drum down and rushed out to a bar just 3 blocks away... "it's a place to see and be seen"... "but i'm dressed like crap!"... "it's ok you're tourist"... right - that excuses anything... including the oily hair and pms face.... right when we got there though,... Wen's face went green and I knew her tummy flu was aying it didn't want to party...
We found a 7/11... I searched desperately for anything that would have helped her... until finally I came up to the guy at the counter... i wasn't sure if he understood me... but he found this Chinese herbal remedy... ... he also offered us "panadol menstral"... I wasn't sure if it was because I pointed to my tummy too much as I was explaining to him what i needed... but... no i was not having period cramps.... that had to be the best 7/11 guy in the world.
So the chinese remedy somehow worked and the princess fell asleep easy...
At 4 in the morning... the fireflies returned... there was drumming!... I woke up, feeling upset that i was missing out on the action... I thought it was morning... but when my head cleared, i realised it was almost pitch dark... they were just being inconsiderate assholes... ! It's ok... they made up for it the next day by drumming and dancing with me :)
So the next day, was indeed an interesting day... I thought i'd try out a padded bra... since everyone else uses them... I thought I'd just give them a go....whoa... is that c.flava with watermelons on her chest? no... I never ended up wearing them out... a waste of money and time and resources and material... so i thought I'd use it as a prop one of these days... for my self awareness workshops...
So anyway, night came... and it was a spectacular mardi gras at Club Atmosphere... not because of it's size or anything... i think it's the fact that it was happening in such a city that made it awesome. Drag queens, drag kings... big mamas... belly dancers, cheer leaders, mac make up artists and ABCs- Asian biker chics... It was ironic... on one hand it was a such a cool party... and on the otherhand... it was for AIDS awareness. Sex kills these days... one can die from having sex. If you think about it really hard... it can be a pretty confusing thing.
Pics from the rehersal...
The fireflies were beautiful on stage and it was great drumming for them... eventhough.. my more critical side tells me i messed up their performance with my drumming... but naw... the drummers did get a compliment of two from the audience... so i think we were ok.
The music after the performance almost choked me to death! DJ Bobby B, I love YOU! I danced and danced and danced... and my cute glowsticks went wooo hoo hoo... yes, my name is c.flava, I'm 25, and I act like a juvenile on drugs when I'm really not.... I had not danced like that since 1999. That's how deprived i have been of good music.
Wen's birthday came the day after that... I would say she had a sweet birthday... what could be better than a day entirely dedicated to exploring a totally new place... we shopped ourselves crazy... ate like queens and collapsed in bed from complete, chirpy exhaustion.
... posted
at 11:36 PM by C.flava.
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Friday, December 26, 2003
I'm on my way to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia... for a performance at an AIDS awareness Mardi Gras (Live and Let Live)
What's scary is, I'm going to have to travel all alone there, by bus..... which would have been fine, except, these meanies have been telling me horror stories about getting robbed....
I have the following options:
#1 Not go- That won't do because I'm supposed to be performing... not a well rehersed bunch of drummers we are...but yeah.
#2 Bring a gun- No licence
I decided on whiskey instead of the gun... I could pour whiskey on the attacker... plus, whiskey makes me fart so, that might be helpful during an attack...
I fear I might be making a mockery of myself on stage tomorrow... I mean we are going to drum with these fire/glowstick dancing people who totally have their shit together... and the drummers... sorta do but don't totally have it there yet.
*Wishing myself luck*
... posted
at 5:03 PM by C.flava.
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Where was I on christmas day?
At the ZOO!
poem for the wet lovers:
squish squish
squish squish squish squish
between thy legs
oh lover
squish squish
It's been a beautiful monsoon season...
... posted
at 4:35 AM by C.flava.
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Monday, December 22, 2003
It's that time of the year where you string events of the past together and try to make sense of it... None of it quite makes sense right now... it's funny how I ended up placing values on certain things and devaluing others... that's really what all this has been about hasn't it?... call a thing something... and then, it becomes yours or part of the other.... and that's supposed to give u a reason to keep going...
... posted
at 10:30 PM by C.flava.
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Friday, December 19, 2003
Taxi Driver:
"(In Mandarin) Next time when you take a cab again, make sure the cab driver isn't Indian (Taxi Driver was Chinese). You're a girl, you should be careful."
**** No comment! Welcome to Singapore.
Top 5 Taxi Driver Statements (Translated to English)
1.
You know, you should always pee when you need to while you're young. When you need to go, just go. Don't get to my age and have bladder problems.
2.
Some parents these days need to get slapped in the face. You are a counsellor, you should know how badly they need to be slapped. You give birth to a child, you take care of it. It's not a complicated thing.
3.
If a man tries anything funny with me, I'll just take my knife and stab him... I'll bash him up. You should do the same. (If you haven't gotten it yet, this cad driver was a woman).
4.
(During the SARS outbreak) It's all a conspiracy, the Chinese government's been experimenting with chemical warfare, now look at what they have done now!! I feel bad for your generation."
5.
I like Japanese music. I want a Japanese bride. Japanese food is fantastic. Japanese products are the best. Japanese this... Japanese that... I picked up Japanese tourists from the airport and I got their number, but when i tried to call it was the wrong number.
... posted
at 5:13 PM by C.flava.
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Monday, December 15, 2003
Recent photos:
... posted
at 9:02 PM by C.flava.
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Would you believe that the ever invincible, eternal, immortal, super villian has been caught?
Yes, Sadam- the man who has become satan to many bible belters.... become god to the anti-american sentimentals... this man feels like the ironic joke of my generation. I mean after not dying in the gulf war and having your country invaded by troops of Bushmen a 2nd time....*sick laugh*.... , you would think that a man like that would have gone for some major plastic surgery, gotten a sex change and fled to some tiny transgendered-friendly neighbourhood in Asia.... but you know, in the words of this old dude I met: such is life...
Which brings me to my next issue... you know everything just gets stranger... sometimes it's almost like you think the impossible... and it happens. The impossible HAS been happening... sometimes i look around me, and I'm like, was I just in some plateu for a long time sleeping...? or have things always been a tad bit surreal?...
I had a heck of a time drumming and dancing by myself on Friday night. Ok, no I wasn't totally by myself, there were friends around, it's just that I felt like I was being in touch with myself for the first time in ages.... or rather, i was doing something for myself........ I hardly have fun anymore.... and that is such an important part of life... laughing and feeling that tiny bit of melody in you.
... posted
at 7:52 PM by C.flava.
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Wednesday, December 10, 2003
I heard this story about an Indian born British who couldn't be with his wife and children each night........ because he would go across the street to sleep in his parent's home. His parents didn't approve of him dating anyone outside the Indian community... but he was married to a beautiful English bride and had gorgeous children with her... his parents didn't find out he was married till one day, burdened with frustration, his wife walked across the street and knocked on their door to inform them.
I know of a man who married a woman eventhough this woman was once a man. His family found out, confronted the woman... slapped her and called her "sick".
Some lovers get fucked over because parents don't approve of different skin tones becoming a part of the family... others don't want their child converting to some other religion.... other's don't want their son marrying a woman who got her dick removed.... and now more than ever before, I realise there's a chance my love life could well likely be fucked over because I don't have a dick.
Sometimes I feel like I'm living in the millennium's dark age.
I looked at the mirror yesterday, and was horrified to find a grown woman exhausted from fighting neverending battles.
... posted
at 10:39 AM by C.flava.
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Monday, December 08, 2003
We performed at the launch of the Pelangi Pride Centre. I honestly thought I'd never see that sort of day happening... a resource space for the GLBT community open... in the sunny island of Singapore... just the fact that this sort of space exists is amazing... I can't imagine the years of work and effort put in.
If there's anything good that's happened this year... it's this centre... yeah there was SARS, and the Iraq war... at some points i thought we just weren't going to get through 2003.... so at least one good thing happened...
I'm so ready for 2004.
... posted
at 3:06 AM by C.flava.
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Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Chocoholism will be the death of me.
... posted
at 10:25 PM by C.flava.
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I'm feeling a whole lot better.
... posted
at 9:08 AM by C.flava.
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Monday, December 01, 2003
Lt. Dan: "Have you found Jesus yet Gump?"
Forrest Gump: "I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him - Sir!"
____________________
I've struggled quite a bit at work recently... ethical dilemas, feeling burnt out, office politics, homophobia, religious fanatics, plain bullying... if there has been anything good that has emerged from this whole series of struggles, it's a couple of amazing friendships and a stronger sense of trust in what I know to be true.
Is it ok to bite the hand that feeds? No.
Is it ok, as a shrink, to label a human emotion as sick and "cure" it in the name of religion? No.
Is it ok to break verbal contracts with someone who has dedicated unpaid time and energy to something? No.
Is it ok to discount a community as invisible, depriving them of the social support they need? No.
Well, all these things happened, and I have had to keep saying to myself "no". Not because I was trapped in some adolescent rebellious state of mind... but because they were just plainly, not ok. Yes, I have opinions, I especially have one when something is trying to abuse me. You know, if I was just a tiny bit weaker as a person, I'd be swallowing all these "happenings" and allowing these things to be OK, making some other stronger voice, my truth. You know, this world is a strange place-
keep quiet and get abused = a very sweet girl
say something about getting abused = bitch
If that's the case, I prefer being a bitch.
... posted
at 2:58 AM by C.flava.
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profile
nick:
cyntheticflava
gender: female
d.o.b.: 240878
location: San Francisco/Singapore
food pref: lacto vege
work:
field of shrinkology
musical instrument: djembe
fav colors: blue, maroon
fav food: baked corn
fav body part: armpit
music: d&b/hiphop/jazz
fav writers: kundera, murakami
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