cynthetickravings...

Saturday, January 31, 2004

It's been a long week... well, long couple of weeks.

... posted at 6:00 PM by C.flava. 0 comments


Wednesday, January 28, 2004

1 AUD = 1.31178 SGD

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Monday, January 26, 2004

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Thursday, January 22, 2004



Castro- San Francisco, August 2003

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Wednesday, January 21, 2004

"Congratulations, she has more options"
My uncle's response to my mother's pre-reunion dinner broadcast: My daughter's bisexual

"It's her choice."
My aunt's response to my mother's pre-reunion dinner broadcast: My daughter's bisexual

I could have choked on the hot pot vegetables! Now, over the years I've done the 'offering oranges' thing to all my relatives. I would do it out of obligation, tradition... this time I felt this ritual more deeply than I ever did before. It was relief combined with bitter-sweet ache.

"Irony" is a strange word. "Irony" is exactly what's happening now.

Happy Lunar New Year.

... posted at 1:19 PM by C.flava. 0 comments


Monday, January 19, 2004

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"The Myth of Sysyphus" is currently the story of my life.

The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor.

I'm not as strong as Sysyphus. He used all his passion and defiance to withstand this endless torture. To roll that rock up that hill over and over. The gods did not win.

In my case, however, the gods have won.

... posted at 5:26 AM by C.flava. 0 comments


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"

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About a month ago, I found some sort of tumour growing on my dog's body. I attempted to play quack vet and applied antiseptic lotion and antibiotic powder on it daily. A month later, today, I brought him to a vet who saw him for 2 minutes, prescribed oral anti-biotics and sent us off. "Come back in two weeks if it doesn't subside"

We forced on him, some sort of head gear to prevent him from licking the growth further. Let me tell ya, my heart totally sank as I watched the poor animal squirm and squeel. it was struggling to make sense of this human contraption forced onto his body. "It's for your own good darling."

I spoke out loud. Now, at most times, speaking out loud like that would be considered a tad bit insane, but at the vet's, for some reason, it's socially acceptable.

You'll be amazed at the conversations people have with animals. The sort of therapeutic transference is incredible. I have found that to be especially true with my hamsters. I sort of externalise my entire childhood and project it on the poor creatures. "Don't worry babies, no one's going to bully you."

Right, like anyone could possibly bully hamsters in cages. Nevertheless, I keep them safe outside my room, and have the most intimate and private conversations with them about love, life and my deepest passions.

My point is that having these pets have given me a sense of autonomy and personal space that I could never have with other human beings. My hamsters, like it or not, have given me that gift to learn to take care of myself. Strange, that it took two tiny creatures to teach me great lessons in parenting and nurturing myself.





... posted at 2:55 AM by C.flava. 0 comments


Monday, January 12, 2004

I saw something that made my tummy churn just a couple of minutes ago. It's a CNN video of a US Marine shooting down an Iraqi. Immediately after the execution, you hear cheering from other US Marines.

(Click Here) Only if you are trully willing to see how sick war can be.

Thanks, Circular Logic, for the link.


... posted at 7:50 PM by C.flava. 0 comments


I dreamt of such loneliness last night... a large beautiful pool... blue and sparkling under the afternoon sun... and as the heaviness weighed on my chest... I sought relief from diving into the cold pool of what seemed like eternity... blue, sparkling and cold... far away, I heard drum beats... they spoke of passion and connection... he was angry with me... so I dived deeper into eternity... into what felt like a freezing point... I wondered into the depths of where she might have been... and the earth spread itself... further and further away from it's own ends... I wondered.

I awoke to a screaming alarm clock... "I had a dream last night baby..."

_______________________


Margaret Cho is so intensely funny... she does what Charlie Chaplin was able to do in the 1940s... they both make their audiences laugh and realize at the same time... it's like a parallel process... u laugh--- u feel for her vulnerabilities and you know on some level that she is you too.

I almost died laughing as I watched "I'm The One That I Want". No seriously... I hadn't had such a laugh since... gosh, I don't remember... She's phenomenal!

... posted at 6:59 AM by C.flava. 0 comments


Thursday, January 08, 2004

I think human beings across time, have withstood some really horrific tragedies, natural disasters, human disasters... but to be honest, the cockroach is more resilient than the human being.

Our generation has studied about starvation, the plague, slavery, WW1 & 2 in our history text books and perhaps, looked at all of it with a detached sense of evolved humanity. "We're not like them in those textbooks... we have pentium 4 processors, the internet, palm tops, drum and base music, detol, breast implants, diet pills.... we're not like them"...

Diet pills are a luxury many cannot afford


We're going to the dessert again dad!


A Singapore woman has confessed in court to biting her teenaged maid's nipple until it fell off, local media reports said.
(Read more...)
Slavery?


Plague?



I think handling the things around me, is easier than handling what's a dreadful ache in my heart.

... posted at 11:34 PM by C.flava. 0 comments


Tuesday, January 06, 2004

My ass turned a fax machine on yesterday.
Yes, I do mean that, literally.

... posted at 6:47 PM by C.flava. 0 comments


Friday, January 02, 2004

Since I graduated from Secondary School in 1994, I've had many of the old teachers pass away. At first it was my art/math teacher who died of cancer.... In 1997, 3 other teachers died in a plane crash (Silk Air MI 185). They were in their way back from another teacher's funeral in Indonesia. One of them that died in the plane crash was my literature teacher (the only human being, who could make me read my text book, and enjoy it!) ... and the other, another math teacher... who shared the same bus with me to school... bus 196.... I attended the memorial service that year, back in the school... and felt really afraid of the sort of ridiculous tragedies life was capable of. It was said to be a national tragedy... it wasn't long before Singapore Airlines had another crash in Taiwan.... I think people today are still recovering from these two incidents... September 11 of course, made everything worse.

More recently, the principal of the school drowned with her son... in 1993-4 she had been my choir teacher... the only human being who could make me sing in public.... my brother, you could say, was her pet student, the choir president....

I went to the school's website, and the only familiar face I could find, was the face of the school discipline master.... who had once given me a detention for trying to sneak outta school to play truant... no other face was recognizable.

... posted at 7:24 PM by C.flava. 0 comments


Thursday, January 01, 2004

Happy New Year!
It's the first day of the year and already, I'm feeling exhausted and am swamped with work.

I am in the process of recovering from a a very cruel hang over... New Year's Eve was spent with the Ministry of Sound DJs... Ministry Of Sound Essential NYE 2004 Singapore Expo.... and the very fabulous fire people... many parts of the night were spent holding a baby fire extingiisher... I was the drunkard 'Safety Manager'... and really, I think I did quite well... one dude dropped his staff, and I came running across the the performance area... except the police took care of the fire first. I think I got the true Singaporean New Year's Eve experience with a bunch of Ah Bengs randomly going "Happy New Year Hor, your name what hah?".... It was a wonderful surprise to have two of my belly dance instructors show up... and at first they were reluctant to dance to the hard house... but then I told them, "hey, you know it's just like the Maqsum (traditional belly dance beat), boom ta ta booom ta."...



At 5am, it was especially sweet to see Wen get up there and twirl beautiful, smooth moves... gorgeous fire.

By 5.30am... the 'Safety Manager' was half dead on the verge of falling asleep on the dance floor... we made our way back stage and found DJ Dave Seaman, either really jet lagged or drunk... leaning over a lot of food... "Happy New Year Girls".... "Happy New Year"...

... posted at 6:18 AM by C.flava. 0 comments


profile
nick: cyntheticflava
gender: female
d.o.b.: 240878
location: San Francisco/Singapore
food pref: lacto vege
work: field of shrinkology
musical instrument: djembe
fav colors: blue, maroon
fav food: baked corn
fav body part: armpit
music: d&b/hiphop/jazz
fav writers: kundera, murakami