| cynthetickravings...
Sunday, May 30, 2004
I'm not sure if I can embrace all sides of my own humanity.... the beautiful, the ugly... the strength and the vulnerabilities that co-exist in such ironic contexts... sometimes i feel drained from the tiny tasks of everyday life... and at other times I smell the scent of grass after the rain and then it all becomes worth it...
... posted
at 8:46 AM by C.flava.
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Friday, May 28, 2004
I just returned from Bali a couple of days ago... it was one of the most enchanting places I'd ever been too... I would imagine it to be one of the few sacred places left in SEA. I was moved by the timeless beauty of the sunsets, the preservation of the ancient spirit of dance, art, music, religion and community in an emerging modern economy, fueled by tourists who are attracted to the very things that the Balinese are proud of. If you have a history dating back to the stone age... a history of spiritual merging and dynamic color wouldn't you be proud?
Click for PHOTOS
There were a couple of things that disturbed me... little children peddling small crafts... literally begging and persuading you to buy beaded necklaces, sarong skirts... tourists bumming... and I mean... LITERALLY bumming on the gorgeous beaches... priding on their tans and recent hit of cheap pot/heroine... boasting about how well loved they are by the locals... objectifying the sacred... paying USD$3 for massages...whatever else...
It was an irony... tourists help the island to maintain and upgrade the many ancient temples but cheapen the sacred charm of the island. I was however, relieved and happy to find that the objectification of tourism hasn't raped the historical local pride and the spiritual integrity of the place.
Gender wise, wen and I were harassed by both local and tourists alike EVERY 5 meters... I'm not exaggerating... like, "Hello, where you from? You have a boyfriend?"... Everyone spoke to us in Japanese... some Indonesians from other part of the country wanted to take photos with us... a whole family of 20 came to greet us at the beach, the women put their arms around us with much communal type affection. They were very friendly... it was so different from the cold railings at the MRT stations in Singapore and the hurried people in suits rushing through the CBD... they were so genuine with helping us find our way... some of course would ask us to buy their stuff after helping... but many others went all out to help us with so much family like affection...just like that... felt like a California rave... PLUR or something... the last time I experienced such warmth was in a village in the Philippines...I am definitely not as friendly with the tourists in Singapore...
There were times I felt frustrated... It felt like all the touristy shops were out to rip us off... I had to use my Singaporean 'Ah Lian' bargaining power before they lowered the prices by half... two shops away I would find the exact same product for half of what I paid.... it was annoying... but after seeing the Bali Bombing site... and how terrorism and SARS ruined the economy... I didn't mind paying the couple of dollars more... didn't feel ripped off as much.
The higlight of the trip... was a short 2 hour journey to the North part of Bali... where at sunrise we got on motorized sampans and dolphin watched... it was MAGICAL! Those creatures, I swear, were just nothing short of being mysteriously beautiful and uplifting for human visual spirit.. the way their fins popped up and down in wave like motions was just sooooooooo spellbinding!
... posted
at 4:18 AM by C.flava.
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Wednesday, May 12, 2004
I had the longest day yesterday... the morning was a panic driven rush of madness... the afternoon was so stressful my heart and mind were just over loaded with worry... but it all went through more than OK.. and I might do a little bit more just to see how far i can go... just to be that little prickly thing ... so then i had a 4 hour meeting which made my blood boil...
Thank goodness for two wonderful friends who saved the day by having an awesome dinner with me.
... posted
at 8:45 PM by C.flava.
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Monday, May 10, 2004
Over the last few days there's been talk of torture and abuse of the Iraqi prisoners. I don't remember seeing thhis stuff on the news on Singapore's Channel 5. I found this on www.Fridae.com and it made me sick to my stomach. I know that war is traumatizing.. that in war you are made to believe that the enemy is worth killing, worth conquering... worth dying over... i know that in fighting a war, you are put under the most scary life threatening conditions... bombs, guns... death... I know you can hate the enemy with every cell in your body... i know these things have happened across human history...
... but it's another thing to see a real photographs
... posted
at 8:45 AM by C.flava.
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Thursday, May 06, 2004
Little Wing
Well she's walking through the clouds
With a circus mind that's running wild
Butterflies and zebras
And moonbeams and fairy tales
That's all she ever thinks about
Riding with the wind.
When I'm sad, she comes to me
With a thousand smiles, she gives to me free
It's alright she says it's alright
Take anything you want from me, anything
Anything.
Fly on little wing,
Yeah yeah, yeah, little wing
-Jimi Hendrix
... posted
at 4:37 AM by C.flava.
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Monday, May 03, 2004
I managed to catch, in total, 2 films at the Singapore International Film Festival. 2! I found out about the film festival a little too late and well, with my horribly tight work schedule, it was just tough finding free time. the first film I caught was in Spanish -In the City or In La Ciudad.
If I could review it, I'd give it 5 stars and 2 thumbs up :). It had lots of repressed feelings, secrets, desires and constipated conversations. The cast was real, not too sexy or outrageously plastic which made it believable. I enjoyed it thoroughly! And i don't say that about films often- maybe once every few years.
The highlight was this beautiful married woman, whom throughout the film, was emotionally constipated. The emotional release happened when she finally boinked this other gorgeous woman. *sigh*. they were so subtly flirting throughout the film. No, no lesbian sex scenes, just a very sexy and elegant lesbian after sex scene. Aside from her, there was a high school teacher having an affair with a 16 year old student, a man depressed over his wife's secret affair with another man, a frustrated woman who puts up a ruthless, slutty persona, to cover up the longing for stable love.
The double highlight was the actress who played the constipated bisexual addressing the audience at the end of the film, telling us about how she attempted to play her role. She described it as "difficult acting in a role that is outside of yourself". Whatever that means...
The other film I watched was Father and Son. This movie was disturbing. My goosebumps came up a couple of times... the main theme seemed to be about enmeshment between father and son. It was way too intense for labor day weekend! Feelings of complete love for each other that was ironically trapping for both... almost incestuous! It was almost like, "Father don't leave me" "Son, I need you to need me". It was eerie that the son compared the relationship to the Christian God and Jesus. there was talk of the good son being willing to be crusified. The final scene showed how the son, decided that once he graduated, he would move out... and that he wanted his father to marry a new woman. I would have been moved if I was in the mood for such intensity. But the release from the father-son enmeshment was definately relieving.
... posted
at 5:36 PM by C.flava.
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Sunday, May 02, 2004
A few weeks ago, I made a huge fire staff (J did all the major screwin', I just did what I could with whatever butch strength I had) (5'4")... exactly 2 inches taller than I am... I lit it up tonight for the first time... the flames were huge and the gorgeous sound of fire cutting across humid air was incredible. I'm totally hooked!
pics taken by the very beautiful- wen :)
... posted
at 9:51 AM by C.flava.
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profile
nick:
cyntheticflava
gender: female
d.o.b.: 240878
location: San Francisco/Singapore
food pref: lacto vege
work:
field of shrinkology
musical instrument: djembe
fav colors: blue, maroon
fav food: baked corn
fav body part: armpit
music: d&b/hiphop/jazz
fav writers: kundera, murakami
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