cynthetickravings...
Monday, June 28, 2004
I managed to get a tny gig at the Hideout this Saturday night, 3rd July... I can't wait to slap my new LP latin djembe...the set is by DJ Slim... tribal house... it'll be impromptu- rehearsal for a possible, more prepared gig in the future... *excitement*
... posted
at 9:39 AM by C.flava.
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Saturday, June 26, 2004
I hate to make this blog some interesting news link page, but this NYTimes article (read here) pushed a couple of my 'coming out' stress buttons and tears flowed onto my tee... I don't think there can ever be a point in this process where I can feel like I have arrived... I think it is an on going review, an on going repetition of deeper and deeper self-reflection, of reality testing and finding ground again and again... I'm not sure i could ever fully relate to the whole pride-parade thing... I think it highlights and celebrates courage but it also has a way of discounting the hurt, the losses... my coming-out has not been just a parade... and I think the more Hollywood media makes it out to be some pink happy fashion thing, the harder it is for some... yeah ok, so at least we are not portrayed as perverted freaks so much anymore... but we are placed in this strange new pink colored box... I'm not sure what to make of it.... and the more I watch stuff like Will and Grace, the more i am made to forget friends-sistahs/bros who are choking in guilt and fear... and sometimes there will never be a right time for them to come-out to their families... I am pushed to forget painful homophobic comments from both gay and straight folks... the media pushes me into this perpetual house dj party... for goodness sake, I am way more than a happy pride fashion parade... i work, i get fat, i get sad, i have good days and bad days and I am just as vulnerable to the entire realm of human existence as any straight person on the street... if I am ever at peace about this bisexual thing, it is not because I marched around with a bunch of dykes in my rainbow bikini, it's because i fought for it, worked for it... and i had to do things many take for granted... it was NOT JUST a fucking love parade. As i read through this NYTimes article, I cried for the homeless boys who've lost their families and have ended up seeking options like drugs or unprotected sex to ease the painful hole in their hearts... the only difference between them and I, is fate.
... posted
at 10:08 PM by C.flava.
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Friday, June 25, 2004
I was really moved by this article from the NY Times. The Afgan women are voting for the first time... (Read Here)
So, right about now, it has finally hit me that I am running out of time for submitting my application for a student visa. I'm running out of time for many things to happen.
... posted
at 10:05 PM by C.flava.
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Tonight my visioned blurred into a golden black whirl of a world collapsing... at the back of the cab... time moved in broken images and shattered sound... curled into what remained of myself... the vulnerability ached and all I wanted was for stillness to hook onto time... to ride with this endless motion of minutes going by.
... posted
at 10:16 AM by C.flava.
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Wednesday, June 23, 2004
You’re a vegetable, you’re a vegetable
Still they hate you, you’re a vegetable
You’re just a buffet, you’re a vegetable
They eat of you, you’re a vegetable
-Michael Jackson (Wanna Be Startin' Something)
... posted
at 10:34 PM by C.flava.
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Thursday, June 17, 2004
I've been really lethargic lately. We just got through another performance last Saturday at the Streets Arts Festival. It was a collaboration yet again with the fireflies and a belly dancer.T'was a whole lot of fun.... well, fun, but the amount of energy and stress needed to pull through a performance is just no good for this lil' ole introvert.
So I hereby retreat... HIATUS
... posted
at 4:53 AM by C.flava.
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Wednesday, June 09, 2004
The night floats... while grief sinks in... the past wraps itself into a single wonder... and the present remains unreal in all its momentary mystery... farewell is an ironic entity that folds away chapters in its rightful place... I view this last chapter... last pages unwritten and I long for time to hold its movement and keep us sacred in this timeless womb...
... posted
at 10:50 AM by C.flava.
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